Needing a cold shower after frying in the
field against Kingsholm Garage wants to adjust the thermostat on the
showers. He says it needs an alan key. So I told him to ask
(Alan) Dorks to see if he had one as he is bound to have. Garage
then goes up and asks him for an alan key to everyone's amusement ...
|The ledge that is Tats Jnr
batting at 11 (why so low?) with about 20 needed comes in with his senior
partner (not necessarily better) and says "eee up, two legends
together!" Good confidence from the Yorkshire Terrier. Thereafter,
Tats Jnr bats resolutely blocking ball after ball for about 10 balls
whilst his senior partner seeing run rate going up tells little tats to
open up and hit the ball next chance he gets. Tats then gets 3 balls in
the penultimate over and resolutely blocks the leather off the ball!! Thou
shall not pass. His senior partner, a little frustrated, asks Tats jnr why
he hadn't hit the ball replied, as if talking to a complete idiot (not
wrong there!!) "but ... I'm an opener!" Bless... and we lost ...
|a good statue impression by
Wheelo away v CS. Even worse than his normal running between the
wickets. Needing to keep the scoreboard ticking over in the last few overs,
Wheelo whacks the ball the long on and then stands as if frozen in his own
time-space distortion for a good 3 seconds and eventually sets off like a
(slow) startled rabbit and turns an easy 2 into a quick 1. He was
almost lapped by Sam 'Treadmill' it was that bad!
after scoring 118* against Saracens (yes, he can play the pull shot),
fielded at slip for
most of the evening after the hundred, but eventually had to go back to
long-off where he took a one handed catch way over his head. Casual
... (sorry, but reverse sweeps for 4 off left-arm medium pacers from outside leg
stump do not count as champagne moments - so last year!)
|In school, the teacher asked Wheelo to spell
"bowling". Back came the answer : "B-o-e-l-i-n."
"That," said the teacher, "is the worst spell of bowling I've
|Edward Burrows, he of 15
and very hard hitter of a ball (mostly in the air), quizzed (with a touch
of annoyance) the editor of the Dipper's Despatch on why he had quoted him
in the newsletter 3 or 4 times? Not sure what the young lad was talking about
and assuring him he would never quote people incorrectly the editor bought
out the newsletter. There, says the angry young man, you wrote
"somebody did something, Ed.") The angry young man quickly
became an embarrassed young man when it was pointed out to him that Ed was
short for Editor and those were the Editor's comments! Nice one, Ed. (in
|In a calmer moment, Rakey and his wife were
sitting at home. Rakey was as usual reading some bowling averages. "Do
you remember the day you proposed at the cricket match?" said she,
romantically. "You were bold." "No I wasn't," muttered
Rakey, "I was caught and bowled!"
|Jimmy Williams for having
consistently the best mullet gets a lifetime champagne moment award at the
age of 16 and for asking when told someone is going up to Worcester to
watch the Australians asks "who are they playing?"
|Rakey was always thinking of cricket.
Eventually, his exasperated wife said, "You think nothing but cricket.
I bet you don't even remember the day we were married." "Of course
I do," said Rakey. "It was the day Sir Colin Cowdrey got 127 not
out against Australia."
|Wheelo, after dropping the
easiest catch in the world, comes back to get the key wicket against
Frampton. Celebrates by running down the wicket like Brett Lee! Good
|Hally is in purgatory and is challenged to a
game of cricket by the Devil to decide if he goes upstairs or downstairs.
Hally, although he has to pick from angels, is up for this "But i've
got all the cricketers, i've got harold and noz and rakey" said Hally.
"Yes. But we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed the devil....
going down Hally.
|Wheelo, struggling with the easy crossword
in the last Dipper's despatch, gets some help with "precious Apperley
lady" clue (4) After failing with Emma and the wonderful Anna he is
told it begins with J and ends with E and has AD in the middle, Wheelo
thinks and replies "is it Caroline?"
|On the same crossword, Wheelo is struggling
with "left handed musician" (6) Eventually, he is told that the
person is a current England opener of six letters and a light goes on with
Wheelo and proudly states that "Trescothick" hmmmm